The start of a new chapter in travel, in and out. I’ve already been on the move for quite a while now. And finally managed to settle down in the spot I intended to be around about 3 years ago. Also with the teacher I intended to be with at that time. But back then, I decided to move on to china instead. Also my family and friends have been asking me to write up on my stuff. I’m not the best at keeping communication going and there are months of silence (literally), in which I find myself talking to the void in a room (that’s a lie but it sounded good, I only talk within). So this time I make a promise to myself that I’ll keep this going.
I thought of writing a whole article at once about the whole last journey. Butttt, such would end up in the usual chaos of places and thoughts. Instead I decided to split them up in different posts to give them somewhat more air. Coming back to Belgium was certainly an experience and it was very pleasant to see my family and friends again. There’s a great feeling of gratitude towards all of them once you experience that after being away for so long, one can still experience the joy of being together as if time has never passed. I would even say the time I spend with them had a certain deeper respect. Because this time I noticed a lot more deeper and intricate movements within them. Things I was incapable of seeing before because I was too focused on myself.
People are a remarkable constructs, and being surrounded with them makes our person an even more remarkable subject. In a way, it’s such a real gift to be experience disappointments as well because it has shown me elements of myself which I would have never have discovered otherwise (and I can tell you, without it I would have been as blind as concreet).
While I came back I was surrounded by complex and deep complications of emotional tensions. Which all started with me falling in love online, and its impossibility of being together. Weird enough this happened, although I equally thought I wouldn’t “fall” anymore and especially not “in love” and even more especially not online. Ever since everything became an emotional fluctuation. Although my suffering itself kept its normal sanity, it was a huge learning curve on how to deal with people and emotions. This has always been the case though, as if there’s a label on my forehead stating “please, come closer and tell me your issues”.
This is the path I’ve decided to live and take that responsibility upon me in order to learn how to deal with myself and eventually aid others. In one way because it is the only life I would value to live and the other, rationally there’s no other way for me to truly enjoy my life. So, it is and always was a necessity which has been approached many times from the wrong position and fed by my own insecurity. By which I’ve ended up hurting people and doing the opposite of my intentions.
What I’ll be doing here now is to study with a remarkable teacher which has been on this path since he was 7 years old. I sense that he can bring me a great deal of understanding and I also have the luck of being the first ever student to be under his guidance by himself. I’m living a small hut in India/Ponducherry/Auroville, a more modern one, it still has electricity with a fan and some light. But also a bathroom.
For now I would like to end with thanking everyone for their support and especially my Mother and Father for being the most understandable towards an non-understandable mind. And for all the people who had to listen to my endless void.
There’s an interesting collaboration forming between my teacher and I to form a book on healing.
But within the digital shamatic post reality way
And for those interested beside my travel experiences I also write and have written on some more spiri/psycho subjects which you can also find on this blog. All my travel stuff will be under the subject travel and will probably be quite personal. But then again every single word I write is quite personal.